Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Twelve Signs You're Too Obsessed With Technology

I know when the obsession with technology began for me—after I purchased my first PC.   Then came email, though I initially had to rely on dial-up (I can still hear that funky sound in my head) before the advent of high-speed internet.  It didn't matter if it took several minutes and sometimes several attempts to connect.  I was just darned happy to be a part of that new thing known as The Worldwide Web.  Of course, we can't forget those first cell phones, the clunky kind that could double as a weapon, before everything went streamlined and portable and affordable. With the arrival of social media, people became joined by a virtual umbilical cord that can easily be severed if you un-friend someone.  Most teens have no concept of conversations that don't involve text messages.  We no longer have to be home to watch our favorite TV shows; we just fire up the DVR.  Our CDs have given way to MP3s and our playlists are more extensive than a mortgage contract.  Now traditional books are being replaced by e-readers that practically do everything but the laundry, although I sure hope they develop that application soon.

Though we've gained many advantages through recent technology, I have to wonder if perhaps we're giving up too much old-fashioned face time.  So how do we know when enough is enough?  Here's a list I compiled that could indicate you've gone completely over the edge. 

  • When your sister invites you to grab a bite, you grab your laptop and take off for the nearest computer superstore to buy more memory.
  • You attempt to purchase groceries from an App store
  • You meet your gal pals for a night on the town and you spend the evening tweeting each other from your perch at the bar.
  • You marry your fiancé in Vegas… via Skype because you can't leave the chat room.
  • In the aftermath of an amorous interlude with your spouse, you send him/her a text that reads, "Was it good for you?"
  • You name your twins High and Definition.
  • You inform your children about the birds and bees with a PowerPoint presentation.
  • You upgrade your cell phone and two days later, you sell your great aunt's antiques so you can upgrade it again.
  • While planning your son's bar mitzvah, you exclude your parents to make room for the computer tech guy and his girlfriend.
  • Your children discover they have a new step-daddy from your status update on Facebook.
  • Your car's GPS stops working and you can't find your place of employment.
  • Your baby's first word is OMG.

Now ask yourself this—if some obscure law suddenly forces you to give up all but one of your favorite forms of technology, i.e. cell phone, laptop, etc., what would you keep?  If the thought of even answering that question sends you into a cold sweat, put down the cell phone, step away from the computer, and consider techno rehab.


Playground Monitor said...

I got a real laugh out of your list, and I know a woman who learned her granddaughter was getting a divorce from her Facebook status.

If I could only keep one, I guess it would be the laptop (provided it still came with internet access). With that I can still contact people and watch TV and movies (if I have my network running). Yeah, I see what you mean. They're all connected by that umbilical cord.


Kristi said...

I agree, Ms. M. Gotta have that computer. I guess I could write on a legal pad, but I can't read my own handwriting.:)